Dear myself...

 

At some point, I used to wish I would disappear from this world
The whole world seemed so dark and I cried every night
Will I feel better if I just disappeared?
I was so afraid of everyone’s eyes on me

During those beautifully beautiful days, I was in pain
I hated myself for not being able to receive love
My mom and my dad, they’re only looking at me
It’s not how I really feel but I keep getting farther away

What do I do?

The saying time is medicine was really true for me
As the days went by, I really got better
But sometimes, when I’m too happy, I’m afraid I’ll be in pain again
I’m afraid that someone will take away this happiness

Those beautifully beautiful memories were so painful
I was hurting and hurting but the pain wouldn’t go away
My friends, all these people, they’re only looking at me
This isn’t how I really am but I keep getting farther away

But still, maybe I can be
A bright light in this world
Maybe after all of that pain
I can shortly shine a light
So I couldn’t give up
I couldn’t fall asleep peacefully for a single night
Because maybe if I keep trying to get up like this
I will find myself

How painful must it have been?
How painful must it have been?
How high must my hopes have been?

To my Youth by Bol4